Some Stoic wisdom from James Clear.
Many of these newsletters focus on the lessons that have been picked up along the way. Many of those lessons come from daily reading, either books, newsletters, social media posts, or emails. Some lessons come from watching documentaries or other videos. Some of those lessons come from just being quiet and listening to others.
This week our newsletter will focus on a passage that James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, shared in his weekly 3-2-1 newsletter. This statement from Clear hits hard.
This particular statement is very stoic in nature. Clear is stating definitively that our internal happiness has a profound impact on our relationships in life. He is telling us that we bear the responsiblity for the success and/or failure of our relationships. There is mounting evidence that suggests that the quality of our relationships has a profound impact on not only the quality but also directly impacts the length, of our lives.
Stoic philosophers, centuries ago, knew how important it was to focus on that which we could control. Zeno, the founder of the Stoic school of thought, said "Man conquers the world, by conquering himself." We are able to bring more to the table in any relationship when we are happy with who we are. The happier that we are, the happier that the people around us are!
Have you been noticing difficulty with any of the relationships in your life? Maybe there have been issues with a co-worker, a spouse, a child, or a friend. We will all face challenges from time to time with important people in our lives. There is no way to avoid those conflicts. However, in the future, rather than simply assigning blame to the other party for the challenges, I want you to pause for a moment and look within to see how you have been feeling about yourself recently. Then ask yourself what role you, and your self-esteem, play in that disagreement. The answer may surprise you!