Last week was the first time, in almost a year that, I have not sent one of these newsletters... We were on vacation last week, and I decided to take the week off from EVERYTHING.
It is important that we all take the opportunity to completely relax when given the chance to. That being said it has always been difficult for me to stop thinking about work.
While we were soaking up some sun on the beach in the Outer Banks, I read a fiction book, which is a rarity for me. After two days that book was done, and I picked up to a non-fiction book that has been on my list for quite a while. Over the past couple of years, several people have mentioned The Tools by Phil Stutz and Barry Michels. The focus of this book is to provide, what the authors call, "Tools" to help improve the quality of our lives. It was interesting that the authors are both therapists, however, based on the opening chapter of the book, they seem to have a different approach to therapy. Their approach spends less time discussing past traumas that may have lead us to where we are in life. Instead they seem to focus on teaching people how they can move forward. That seems like a novel concept in therapy, and that approach left me curious.
Today I want to discuss the first "tool" from this book. (I may even do an ongoing "book report" over the next several newsletters.) The first tool that they share is "The Reversal of Desire." The title given to this tool by the authors is a bit confusing. The concept is that we often feel stuck in making forward progress, and the thing that tends to limit us more than anything is the fear of failure and the pain that comes with it. Essentially, if we never try to accomplish big things then we will never fail, and thus never have to endure that pain. Stutz and Michels encourage us to face that fear, step out of our comfort zone, where there is no pain, and have the courage to push through to the other side! We have been saying for years that all of the coolest stuff in life happens outside of our comfort zones. It is the anticipated pain of failure that keeps us trapped where we are.
This chapter in this wonderful book reminded me of concepts that I have written about in previous newsletters. In the past, we have discussed Ryan Holiday's great book entitled The Obstacle Is The Way. The title alone sums up this "Tool" from Stutz and Michels in just 5 words! The next concept that I have previously written about is Jocko Willink's one-word response when something unforeseen happens in his life. No matter whether the change is perceived, in the moment, to be for better or worse, Willink just says... "Good." Brian Johnson (Another author that I have been reading recently) when facing a challenge simply says "OMMS, OMMS..." He is not chanting OMM in a peaceful meditative way. Johnson is reciting an acronym... Obstacles Make Me Stronger!
Anytime I have FOUR distinctly different sources all essentially saying the same things, there has to be some validity to the concept!
What do you do to get out of your comfort zone? What amazing things have happened in your life simply because you made yourself uncomfortable?
